Never in my life have I received so many birthday cards at one time. It puts me to shame, considering that I rarely (if ever) send cards. But today, the day before my birthday, I found myself with five cards in my mailbox.
One card has this on the front:
FROM ALL OF US Because you're so SPECIAL, we wanted to get YOU something very VALUABLE for your birthday!
and inside it says...
Our autographs! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
And it has Melvin's mother's, sister's, nephew's, and nephew's mother's signature inside.
Another card from Melvin's brother:
With all of the problems with online services, isn't it nice to know that you can still get a SIMPLE CARD that says "Happy Birthday"?
The cool thing about this card, however, is that you cannot open it. The other page is glued to the back of the front, forcing you to turn the card over to read:
I'm sorry, this greeting card is unable to open at this time. You may be experience a problem due to gluing error. Carry on with you celebration, and please try again later.
followed by a graphic that looks suspiciously like a MacIntosh-style 'OK' button.
Melvin's nephew sent a card as well. The front simply shows four penguins marching to the right of the page. Inside, it says:
Hope your birthday is filled with wonderful things - Like the happiness only a special day brings.
Here's what he wrote inside:
Trey, Have a great B-day, and remember, you're not getting old, you're getting better.... (Oh, with age, wait, you are old!) Robert
My father's card is the most unusual. Inside, it says, simply:
have a pleasantly unusual birthday.
But what a peculiar picture (seen at the top)!
And, lastly, my sister sent me a card with no wording on the front. It's just a pretty picture of the sun (with a face), radiating a rainbow of muted colors. Inside, it says:
Hope your birthday is as bright and as happy as you make the world around you!
Immediately after that last 'you!', my sister wrote:
around you! <vomit> ...And other sappy fucking cards you never thought I'd send you... Just try not to kill Anyone!
She liked the front cover, too.
Thanks to all for great cards. I never would have expected it.