2000.02.01

Cards.

Never in my life have I received so many birthday cards at one time. It puts me to shame, considering that I rarely (if ever) send cards. But today, the day before my birthday, I found myself with five cards in my mailbox.

One card has this on the front:

FROM ALL OF US
        Because
    you're so SPECIAL,
   we wanted to get YOU
 something very VALUABLE
    for your birthday!

and inside it says...

Our autographs!

          HAPPY
	BIRTHDAY!

And it has Melvin's mother's, sister's, nephew's, and nephew's mother's signature inside.

Another card from Melvin's brother:

With all of the
  problems
with online
 services,
isn't it nice to know
   that you can still get
 a SIMPLE CARD
that says
      "Happy
  Birthday"?

The cool thing about this card, however, is that you cannot open it. The other page is glued to the back of the front, forcing you to turn the card over to read:

           I'm sorry,
  this greeting card is unable
     to open at this time.
 You may be experience a problem
     due to gluing error.

 Carry on with you celebration,
  and please try again later.

followed by a graphic that looks suspiciously like a MacIntosh-style 'OK' button.

Melvin's nephew sent a card as well. The front simply shows four penguins marching to the right of the page. Inside, it says:

      Hope your birthday
is filled with wonderful things -
     Like the happiness
 only a special day brings.

Here's what he wrote inside:

Trey,
  Have a great B-day, and
 remember, you're not getting
 old, you're getting better....
 (Oh, with age, wait, you are old!)
                      Robert

My father's card is the most unusual. Inside, it says, simply:

have a pleasantly
unusual birthday.

But what a peculiar picture (seen at the top)!

And, lastly, my sister sent me a card with no wording on the front. It's just a pretty picture of the sun (with a face), radiating a rainbow of muted colors. Inside, it says:

 Hope your birthday
    is as bright
    and as happy
as you make the world
     around you!

Immediately after that last 'you!', my sister wrote:

     around you!  <vomit>
...And other sappy
fucking cards you
never thought I'd send
you...
  Just try not to kill Anyone!

She liked the front cover, too.

Thanks to all for great cards. I never would have expected it.